musings from wonderland

Robbie Roo (yes that’s ROO) always has the most interesting little games on his blog. So here i go being a sheep and following:

“If Your Life Was a Movie What Would the Soundtrack Be”

The rules:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.

Opening Credits:

Electrical Storm (U2)

Waking Up:

No Bravery (James Blunt)

First Day at School:

Hurricane (Lisa Loeb)

Falling In Love:

Sailors (Michelle Branch)

Fight Song:

New York, New York (Frank Sinatra) - what an odd song for a fight….

Breaking Up:

All I Can Do, (is love you to pieces) - (Chantal Kreviazuk)

Prom:

Semi-Charmed Life (third eye blind)

Life:

Home for a Rest (Spirit of the West)

Mental Breakdown:

Mack the Knife (Michael Buble’)

Driving:

It’s Not Easy (Five for Fighting)

Flashback:

Thank Heaven for You (Esthero)

Getting Back Together:

American Pie (original version - don’t remember his name)

Wedding:

World’s on Fire (Sarah Mclachlan)

Birth of Child:

Simple Thing part 2 (Dirty Vegas)

Final Battle:

Roxanne (The Police)

Death Scene:

Beyond the Sea (Robbie Williams)

Funeral Song:

All or Nothing (Dirty Vegas)

End Credits:

You Don’t Know Me (Michael Buble) - how fitting!! LOL

Now you try!! Let me know ! Leave a comment!

This post may not be particularily lighthearted, but i feel like i need to be writing right now.

I’ve never, in my definition, had a panic attack. I know people who have had one, however can’t fully understand the why and how of them.  Tonight, however, i feel like i have had the closest thing to one as i have ever had.

 My heart and my mind started racing.  I had to close my eyes.  I felt like i had 4 billion things happening at once.  I wasn’t afraid, which is why i wouldn’t call it a panic attack.  But i was stressed out, and maybe a bit worried.  And i just had to sit there.  It felt like forever in my living room, before i managed to muster some strength to sit in the bathroom.  (My bathroom has special lights that are “daylight” bulbs and are supposed to make you feel better in the winter.)  After a few minutes (probably more like seconds but it felt longer) I was able to regain composure.  What caused all this? I couldn’t name one thing.  Work, life, relationships, lethargy, nothingness…. There are many things that i think about far too much.  What conclusions have i discovered since my little “episode”?  None.  Except that i need to take some time to think more clearly, and sort things out with finality so i don’t have this ever again.

Now i am craving Raisin Bran.  I don’t know why I said that but its true.

 Goodnight.

Day 1:  take a nice, long, hot bubble bath.  Use Johnson & Johnson’s “No More Fussy Babies” bubble bath.  Decompress.

Day 2:  Call up Mr Ashley, and know he will organize “the boys”.  Drink fancy spanish champagne and bitch to your favorite homos about all your woes, and let them tell you all the great things they say to make you feel better.

 Day 3:  Decide you want to get SMASHED.  Call up Nicole, and head downtown.  Proceed to wait in line for the Blarney Stone for 1 hour, before learning that her friends are at the Cambie.  Wait in a different line for 45 minutes (all the while in the rain).  Still have a good time while waiting.  Finally get in, but only have time for 1 beer before heading back to the skytrain.  Ride the skytrain, where a drunk throws a comb, and an apple core at you.  Still decide you have had a good night, because you are far better off than the drunk.  Get home and write this list.  Decide you are sooooo much better than that loser anyway.

Long story short, and i don’t want to get into it.  Yes, he kissed me.  Then his so called ‘realist” kicked in and he got all freaked about distance and how it will never work and all that CRAP! we had a huge talk about it, and he’s probably right, but it sucks. I wish he hadn’t kissed me now because it would have been a lot easier to get over him.

 CRAP I SAY!

 (it was such a good kiss too)

 

Remember a while back i was telling you all about the crush i had, except the guy lived in Toronto?  Well i’ve met him…. and all i can say now is,

 

I really want to kiss him!!

 

Damn distance.

 

More to follow later.

Hey folks!  How are things?  I realize its been a while, (again), but sometimes i feel i really don’t have anything to write about.  Plus, really, I don’t think anybody is even reading this anymore!  Oh well….

So, since moving to Vancouver, I’ve had some interesting times.  I joined a Metro soccer team here but after 3 games, i’m not impressed.  I mean, we are 1-1-1, but that’s not what bugs me.  The girls on the team aren’t committed, which makes me not want to show up because i hate playing with no subs! (not that i get subbed in goal) 

On a different note, my landlords have been great these past few weeks.  Twice i have been invited upstairs for dinner, and both times it has been excellent.  

Work is going well.  I had an interview for a sales job back in Victoria, which i should find out about in a couple of weeks.  Also, I have a wee crush on a boy from work - but get this - he lives in Toronto!  I am crazy!!!  I know nothing will ever happen but its fun having someone to talk to.  

 In november i get a week off.  I can’t decide what to do.  I think i am going to go to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico or something.  Wanna come?  Seriously?  Come with me!! 

people i know and what they mean to me - in alphabetical order [really really sorry if i miss someone... ]

abel: i don’t see him nearly enough; such a treat to hang out with (throws hands in air) “Wheeeee!”

adam: typical guy. i miss the old adam, that i knew before things got complicated. …i don’t think he will ever be able to have a “girlfriend”- but he is a lot of fun nonetheless

alex, ryan and justin: my high school buds. Yay for bowling! and for playstation nights when i unleash my inner geek!

ben: my poet

brandon: oh i miss him terribly, but he has such a good soul and is following his path

british ian: didn’t get to know you well enough before you left back for JOE. Come back! 

bunny aka princess bun-bun: my dreamer, soul-searcher and muse 

christina: my jellybeana! haven’t seen her in a while. let’s gallavant across uvic and scare the bunnies!

dan: my security blanket

fred: ah! fred! i hope his health is well. he is always good for fun times

greg c: again, things got too comlicated, but i miss the roadtrips where i would fear for my life, and usually someone would get kicked out of the car (adam) and have to walk

greg m: my voice of reason. too many years have passed! fireworks were awesome!

jonas: my rational thinker. and yet still he is estrogenphobic!

kelley: my sisa.  lovies!! i know she will find her path soon.

kyle: my music.  the reason i dance to my own beat

michael: my critic, but in a good way.  he made me grow and i bet he doesn’t even know it 

mrashley: my teddy bear, and blueshoe guru

nathan: my cuddly furball, and dance partner extrodinaire

rob:  my roller coaster ride. rob represents a huge growth in my life, and although i am not nearly as tall as he is, i think now we finally see eye to eye. and what pretty eyes we have too!

scotty too hotty: my tall drink of water! he never is afraid to say what is on mind, and sometimes its so refreshing because he says the best things! (sometimes you have to wait until he is drunk though! heehee)

sharkles aka sharlene: my best friend!! nearly 20 years and still going!  so much to say and yet it can’t be summed up in one sentence!

shawn_: my other half. ShawnA and Shawn_. both of us are S.L.’s,  View Royal, Shoreline and Spectrum Alums.  Lost touch a few times but always pick up like there has been no gap.

trent: my sweetiepie.  I hate that i haven’t gotten to know trent nearly as well as i should have, but he is always kind, sweet and just about the nicest person you will ever meet.

Oh! And Matt McAdams! (See previous post)

 I know for a fact i have missed several very important people, but this is what was on my mind right now, so its not personal if i forgot you! Sorry though!

 

love shawna

Today, I felt like I was in high school. No wait, I wished I was back in high school, so that I could figure something out.

Last night I remember having a great dream, but I don’t remember what it was about. However, when I awoke, I found myself thinking about someone who I haven’t seen or spoken to, or even thought about since graduation, possibly since grade 11. Matt McAdams, actually i think it was “officially” Matthew James McAdams, the fourth (or so my yearbook dictates - yes, i looked). Why? I don’t know. But I am flooded with memories about how, in grade 11, in drama class, we used to be so close. He’d play with my hair, we’d laugh til our sides hurt, we’d fight playfully, and when it got to much, we’d nap on each other’s shoulders. I remember we became such good friends in Acting 11, putting on Arsenic and Old Lace.  He was the Cary Grant character (i was old Aunt Agatha - don’t laugh! She’s one of the leads!) It was a close bond, which was beginning to develop into something more, until he started dating (andrea?), and pretty much with that, it was over. I don’t remember if we stayed friends for the remainder of the year. We didn’t have a fight or anything, but it was a clean break. We didn’t just drift apart, we just were apart. So far apart, that I can’t remember if he went to the same school in Grade 12, or if he graduated with me.

Its weird, I’ve Googled him, and can’t find any trace of him, or his family. Maybe he’s moved, but even a Telus country wide phone book search didn’t turn up any answers. Am I crazy? Am I a stalker? Why am I overwhelmed trying to know what happened to him? Its not like I want to pursue him romantically, I just am genuinely interested to know what his life is like now.

Such a weird post for returning to a blog after months away. But take it or leave it. I will post a life update soon though, I promise.

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